To the very nice looking boy who disappeared on Saturday night: Even Cinderella was kind enough to leave behind a shoe. Couldn't you have at least spared your phone number??

Okay, so YES, it was I who broke Eleanor's tooth.
But really, it was her fault. SHE was the one holding the beer bottle too close to her mouth.

Isn't that the point of drinking from a bottle?
Shhh.
But isn't it?
Go away.
You're the boss.

Anyway, SHE was also the one silly enough to get so close while I was bobbing wildly around making fun of a certain tart.

That's what you get.
You again?
Yes. You go making fun of people and breaking teeth. It's amazing they invite you to parties at all.
Silence.
Fine.

So, as I was saying, yeah, I broke Eleanor's tooth. And I'm sorry. But love means never having to say you're sorry. Right? Right.

I am exhausted. For those who do not know, I was robbed. Here is a summary of my fun fling with credit card fraud.

Friday: My credit cards were lifted from my wallet (all the cash was left, so as not to arouse my suspicion too early, I imagine) at a bar in the East Village. We think we know who took them. Long story.
Saturday: I noticed the missing cards shortly before 1 PM, and called to have them cancelled. Too late. The woman who stole them had already gone on quite the shopping spree, emptying my checking account, over-drawing it and then emptying my savings, and maxing out my VISA card.
Monday: Fleet bank tells me they cannot restore my money to me without filing a claim to their insurance (debit cards are NOT insured) which they can only do with a police report. So, I called NYPD who then told me I cannot file a claim over the phone. I panicked and had three heart attacks until Jonathan offered to take me to New York to file their stupid report.
Tuesday: Drove BACK to New York where Jonathan and I met up with Caryn, filed the police report, had yummy Indian food and EVEN got to see Justin Timberlake in Times Square. We got back around 9, played a little Grand Theft Auto 4 (which is HORRIBLE and addicting, by the way) and then I went to bed with a police report tucked securely in my bag.
Wednesday: Still no word from Fleet, but I'm hoping they get on the ball because my meager $32 won't last long. You know how I shop. You know, Todd.